I ate so much today :(

And now I feel like absolute shit. Mentally and physically. I feel guilty because a lot of it wasn’t vegan or healthy. I was at work and there were ‘fun sized’ candy bars in the back. I don’t even know how many I ate. I was there for 8.5 hours and whenever I went into the stock room (which was a lot) I would have at least one. 

The day started out really well. I had a smoothie for breakfast. I think work was stressing me out so I started eating. Then I couldn’t stop. 

Ugh.

Intake:

smoothie

coffee w/chocolate soymilk

a ton of asiago crackers with jam

SO MANY fun sized candy bars

vegetable soup

apple

pistachios

lara bar

sport beans

chocolate

veggie wrap

apple sauce

pasta salad

apple

cookie

chocolate chip pumpkin muffin

I still want to eat more, but I think if I do I will throw up.

Now I feel like my stomach is going to explode. I’m running 13 miles on trails in the morning. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I have binge eating disorder. I get so full, but I just can’t stop eating. And then I feel guilty, so I don’t eat much for a few days. And then I get really hungry so I eat a ton. And it continues. 

I hate it.

I know this post is pretty random but I just needed to get this out.